Pouring from an Empty Cup- How Self Care should be a Nonnegotiable

You’ve probably heard the phrase “self care” before - especially lately during this unprecedented time in our country!  But what does it actually mean?  How is it beneficial?  And, how is self care practiced in the best way?

First, a good definition from the Oxford Dictionary states, “self-care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness or the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.”  This implies intentional action on the part of an individual to do things that make them feel better.  Self care includes all facets of health.  So, actions taken to promote health in every area of life would encompass one’s mind, emotions, physical, spiritual, social, financial, intellectual and environmental well being.  

Typical day to day living might include a combination of actions in the areas mentioned above.  So, what distinguishes something as self care? There are a few things that determine the difference between our normal every day activities and self care activities.  The first is the word “self”.    The idea is that whatever a person chooses to do, the focus is on one’s own well-being.  While activities might include being with others, like being part of a book club, participation in the group is something voluntary, and something that promotes happiness to the individual.  

Another factor distinguishing self care is the word “care”.   In this instance, the word care is used to describe one’s welfare, being kind, tending to, even protecting.  It is an action that is directed toward self as opposed to others.  And while this can also be accomplished in the company of others, the concept is still geared toward caring for one’s personal well-being.  

One of the most important ideas about practicing self care is that it is intentional and purposeful as opposed to being an obligation or responsibility.  There are many daily activities that may be enjoyable but are also done out of duty or commitment to others.  This includes jobs, family, friends, and even volunteering.  The mind is focused on benefiting others or fulfilling responsibilities rather than doing something for the sole purpose of personal enjoyment or refreshment. When change, unexpected events, seasons of struggle in relationships, financial difficulties, health issues, societal unrest are added to every day obligations, stress levels are increased.  Unhealthy amounts of stress cause a depletion of the body’s reserves and the ability to maintain good health.  

Health of the body, mind, and environment are necessary not only to maintain and enjoy a healthy lifestyle, but also for longevity!  One can do simple research to find the health benefits of reducing stress.  Self care as it has been defined here promotes health in every way by giving a person the opportunity to take intentional action to be kind to themselves.  In doing so, stress levels can be reduced.

So, what are the best ways to practice self care?  Ideally, self care activities are part of a preventative health care management plan.  But most often a person realizes the necessity of practicing self care when life gets to be overwhelming or too much to handle.  The great thing about self care is that it is beneficial regardless of what created the need.  The word “stop” is helpful when choosing a self care activity.  Simple Times Of Peace.  The best benefits of self care will be realized when one stops or breaks away from daily routine and takes the time to do something simple that brings peace.  Self care can be anything that purposefully brings peace and reduces stress.  As previously mentioned, most times these activities might be done alone such as listening to a podcast, going for a walk or exercising, taking a bath, getting hair done, meditating, listening to music.  However, self care can happen with others, such as sharing a new recipe, playing a sport, or joining a book club.  The key is stopping normal life “stuff” to do something for one’s self  that feels peaceful and promotes health.  A simple search of “self care ideas”  on line will provide suggestions for all kinds of self care practices.  

In these extreme times of change, loss, questions, and stress remember to STOP and take care of yourself.

Co-authoring this article, Ann Geisel, Limited Licensed Counselor and Jeff Geisel, HR Professional, live in Michigan where they enjoy the Lake Michigan shoreline and all the beautiful nature that comes with it.